Welcome to Colossal Expectations
Independent, semi-disciplined, sleeping great.
tl;dr this is a substack full of recommendations from a discerning and compulsive consumer focused on golf, travel, cooking, menswear, home improvement and a few other passions of an elder millennial dad, creative executive and relatively handy guy.
Write what? You know...
I have always written, and my dream job was to someday write on a TV show. But both a serious lack of “comedic chops” and the crushing implosion of writer’s rooms killed that dream by the time I turned 24. I instead took a series of jobs, and with a little luck, worked my way up the social, marketing and “content” worlds into a nice little career that is light on the creative writing but heavy on the corporate typing. I’ve worked in media, publishing, and now tech for the video site, but you can read about that elsewhere.
On the side, I freelance for Travel+Leisure, but I started to feel guilty about bothering them all the time with my hot takes and latest rants about things I’ve bought on Amazon to slightly optimize my plane travel, or the golf bag that for sure will take my handicap down two strokes. So Substack it is!
I’m lucky to know and be inspired by some incredible writers out there doing the damn work, from college buddies-turned-journalists (Peter Brannen, Jerry DiColo, Patrick McGroarty, the dastardly Kevin Armstrong), to colleagues-turned-friends (Lydia Mansel, Madison Utendahl BURNT, Ashley Mayo) to experts who somehow answer my emails/DMs (Lia Haberman, Rachel Karten, Mike Isaac, Dave Jorgensen) and my favorite independent media (Hell World, Hell Gate, Defector, The Golfer’s Journal). This will not approach their caliber of work by any means, or be close to as important, but I’ll try my best not to fuck it up for all of us.
Expect reviews of gear, rooted in my favorite hobbies: golf, cooking, travel, home improvement (aruuugh!) born from my need to meticulously test and optimize. I will recommend things that actually fucking work, lessen anxiety, fit perfectly, make you a better cook/golfer/dad, and solve life’s simplest — and often most elusive — little annoyances (like this little dual-charger for my kids’ toothbrushes; I seriously tested ten of these before landing on this one that was the right size, profile, cord-length and look).
My goal here is to be additive, unique and constructive to you, the reader, whoever you are. This isn’t a side-hustle as much as an outlet that stimulates the part of my brain that loves to build, advocate, and create. There may be affiliate links, and I will disclosed if I test something sent to me by a brand, but it will have some integrity and not shill for Kalshi, I promise.
Now, the rules:
This should be fun
Sarcasm noted. No one needs another Substack or long-winded screed to read, but I do need an outlet beyond my day-job, occasional freelance writing, group texts and LinkedIn shitposting. So subscribe if you’d like, unsubscribe if you don’t, and no hard feelings either way.
This should be fun
Why do it if it’s not going to be? This is a creative outlet first and foremost, but let’s see how it evolves and hopefully it wont become more “work.” In the end, I don’t need to spend any more time typing on a screen, but as long as this brings out the dopamine on my end, and you get some researched recommendations in return, let’s enjoy ourselves, shall we?
This should be fun
And you know what, it will be fun. Because I fucking love gear and to help people, so hopefully this does both with a bit of humor. Expect solidly tested reviews and recommendations alongside curses, GIFs, and all the trappings of a Millennial brain long-rotted by the internet.